With Mother’s Day upon us, I find myself reflecting on the many ways this day can stir up a complex mix of emotions for so many of us. Whether you're a mother being celebrated, grieving a mother no longer here, or carrying the grief of being childless - Mother's Day holds a different weight for everyone.
For me personally, it's been an especially intense couple of years as the full-time carer for my own mum. She's been in and out of the hospital constantly - heart surgery, fractures, sepsis. It's been relentless. Most days, I'm simply trying to keep my head above water as I navigate the labyrinth of her care, medical staff, and my own health issues.
This gruelling journey has given me a sobering window into the unique challenges many of us face when dealing with health crises– especially the childless or childfree among us in terms of what we may face later in life. In hospital wards and nursing homes, I've witnessed how devastatingly lonely and vulnerable it can be for elders with no children to advocate for them. For others, perhaps where the connection with family is not healthy, has soured, or is largely absent for whatever reason, this is also an incredibly difficult time at a vulnerable stage in life. Having no devoted allies to look out for your welfare, make care decisions, or simply show up and be there is a dire situation that no one should go through.
Of course, I know Mother's Day can be emotionally charged for so many other reasons, too. Maybe, as mentioned previously, you're a mother grieving the loss of a child. Or grieving your own mother's passing. Or struggling with infertility or pregnancy loss. Making space for all those complex feelings is good mental health care, whichever way this day lands for you.
At the end of the day, we're all just doing our best to show up for loved ones however we can, even if that looks different than what's expected. We are the daughters, sons, parents, carers, and nurturers in our own ways.
Speaking of showing up, if you haven't yet, I'd love for you to check out the premiere episode of my new podcast, "Roar and Uncensored: Voices from the Childless Wilderness." It's a raw, uncensored look at the realities of childlessness and life in general. Fair warning—my debut episode sometimes gets heavy, but it's an important dialogue I hope you'll join me for. Click here to listen.
No matter how Mother's Day lands for you this year, I see you. You are not alone in the mix of emotions this day can bring. Whatever this day means for you, be kind to yourself.